To celebrate #talklikeapirateday this year I was lucky enough to chat to an actual REAL LIFE buccaneer! Oh yes I did! (I do get a little mixed up with cockney but I write like I talk!)
Ahoy matey and listen up close as I tells ye a tale of mutinee and evil worlds.
So let's weigh anchor and get ready to sail out smartly cos that prize won't wait for no man. A whiles back as I sailed with me buckos for Captain Ginger Beard we came upon the motherload, a shiny island of booty - right in the middle of the sea like no ship mate had ever clapped their scurvy eyes on before.
Captain Ginger Beard, he was a salty sea dog, cared for no man or crew. We needs a place to live and get up to capers but me and the lads were fair cracked at the ol' Cptn. AVAST!! Are you listening to me? Gar maybe a walk on the plank might stir your swede into hearing my tale, you savvy?
As me and my crew mates bring the rover in closer to the island, ee would quickly see the ship ain't getting any closer, 'Get the row boat Lad before I throw you overboard, Davy Jones locker is calling out for new mates', 'Aye aye Captain', as we drop anchor on the rover, me and the crew jump in and row to the shiny island.
Now I'm not going to speak bad of the Captain but he had got me into so many scrapes and skirmishes over the years with not so much as a bone, gem, coin. Sitting there drinking his rum whilst me and the Lads get the grog. Captain Ginger Beard saw a prize booty and went yo ho ho for it no mind for no other man. Never did ee listen, not to our tales or warnings, ee sent you to the plank for uttering a whisper.
We jumped into that boat, smartly rowed from the rover to the shore, heaving and old Ginger Beard yelling to us to load that little rig up - 'Fill it up you sea dogs, fill it to the BRIM'. None of us wanted ee's threat of being a pirate ghost or joining ol' Davy Jones, so we chucked the prize into the boat, watching it sink and suffer with the weight.
I yelled back to the Captain, 'it's too much Captain, too heavy, we're going sink', "Shiver me timbers,' he boomed (yes I went there), 'You ungrateful bilge-sucking bucko, get that treasure into that boat and aboard my ship or I'll cleave you to the brisket, leave all the men behind, the rover will tow the bounty'.
So me hearties that was that, we was to be stranded, marooned for the sake of some treasure by our Captain. The Lads faces were desperate, sad like dogs, so we hatched a plan. Mutinee is not for the faint hearted, but when you are going to die by the hand of your leader cos ee won't listen, you have to do something for your fate.
With the thought of being shark bait, one of the lads worked out how many rocks we would need to load into the boat to fool that bearded sea dog into thinking he had all the doubloons. This Lad ee 'as an eye for the numbers savvy? Me other bucko kept the Captain chatting with tales of his swashbuckling wins, every time a cheer, a glug of rum for the Captain, ees cheeks were a glow with grog blossom.
I shouted some orders to the Captain, to get 'im on ees way, so ee was long gone before ee noticed our mutiny. "Avast ye, weigh the anchor, hoist the mizzen the loot is coming aboard'. While we were pillaging the Captain's prize, one of the other Lads found a galley stranded on the island, that kept us all shipshape, we weren't to be marooned, just needed that salty sea dog to pass out from the rum before he see'd what we'd been up to.
Me and me quick thinking mateys threw in a few pieces of eight over the rocks and the Captain set sail, blow me down, the weight of ee's row boat scuttled the ship when he took it onboard a few leagues ahead, that rig heeled and another Captain joined the locker.
Now ye knows why we escaped the ol' locker? We altogether knew we was to die if we was marooned and we had to work together, likes a proper crew savvy? The chantey rang out across the ocean the day we left in our galley - we found land and got ashore to get ship shape, me and that crew still sail now,, even the scallywags on me cog through the chase catching bounty for reward which ees take in equal shares, all hand hoy.
About the author:
I'm Liz and I'm a leadership mentor and part time pirate (not actually true) but offers some brilliant packages to help you and your crew work together to transform your business and crew (instead of mutiny).
You can sail around the website to find out more or sign up to my newsletter to be told more high sea tales and some sensible ones.